isang paraan ng pagtuklas

Basagin ang tapayan
At sasambulat ang laman.
…………..Sa wakes,
mababatid na ang tangan ng sisidlan.

Pagtalsik ng mga bubog
Maaring masugatan.
………….dadanak ang dugo
hindi ito maiiwasan

Ang mahalaga……..

Magkaroon na
Ng kaliwanagan

miracles

I am not Wendy not even Mary Jane Watson. But I have my very own Peter. He doesn’t fly or create webs. He doesn’t wear green suits or blue and red tight costumes. But I am certain that he is my hero.

When I am with Pete I feel safe, I feel that I can be myself without hesitation. Although to a certain extent he gives my stomach a jolt. The mere thought of him makes me smile. He excites me in a way that I cannot explain. He is my coffee during hazy and cloudy mornings, he gives me warmth when I feel cold

He is very special to me.

I LIKE HIM A LOT
I COULD EVEN FALL FOR HIM
IF GOD PERMITS ME TO

But for now

Standing right next to him is a miracle.

a life changing experience

In the ever mysterious path we call life, NOTHING IS PERMANENT. You and I exist in this world in momentarily. We hate to admit it but it’s true. So true. We hold nothing eternal in our hands except CHANGE.

This morning, I saw my life turning upside down. I never imagine that everything could end in one flip of a finger. I was on my way to work like the usual. It was a fine Tuesday. I was not rushing. I was even smiling while walking in the pavements of Shaw Boulevard. By my watch it was about 7am. I told myself “Chelle, you have lots of time.” Yeah maybe I have or I thought I have. I was never late for work. I am always on time. I have to be there by 7:30 am or else I am dead meat. It was a very peaceful journey. I even saw Mr. Arenas and I remember him saying “Why are you wearing slippers?” I told him that it would be safer and easier to go to work wearing slippers. I went ahead of him after that chit-chat.

A tune by Sitti Navarro was playing in my head while thinking of what would happen the entire day. I passed by a tall, fat, dark man. I think if I measured it correctly my height would reach up to the middle of his chest. I went ahead of him. He was walking right behind me, rushing if I am not mistaken. I didn’t know what happened but this man suddenly bumped into my back when I was about to cross the street. Since I cannot fully see the road ahead because some eye condition I have I lost balance. I saw my self falling and hitting the ground. Then, I heard a loud speedy sound and in the corner of my eye it was a silhouette of a big car coming. Memories of the past flashed in my head just like a dramatic movie. The faces of the people I love and value showed. I closed my eyes. I realized death was coming for me.

I don’t know what came to me why I uttered “Lord bahala kana. Oras ko na ata.” Then I hit the ground. I heard people shouting. “Yung babae! Yung babae! Nasagasaan ata. Patay ata!” I opened my eyes and I was stunned to see that my head or my right cheek to be exact was almost two inches away from the right wheel of the car that was about to crash me in to pieces.

It was God’s grace.

I am still alive and sharing with you this experience. I recognized that it was a Nissan Terrano.

My two central front teeth were chipped. The dentist at work told me that it could be fixed with the aid of light cure filing. I have a few bruises. But I’ll be fine. It just came to me that we don’t own our lives. IT IS HIS.

If I died at that moment
I would not be able to tell my Mom and Dad how much I love them.
I would not be able to hug my brother and sister.
I would not be able to tell my boss that I am happy working at LSM.
I would not be able to tell Mike and Niko that I really appreciate them
I would not be able to show my ASSET orgmates that I enjoy being with them.
I would not be able to tell my sister’s boyfriend that he is a part of the family already.
I would not be able to tell Rachel that she is always welcome in the house.
I would not be able to tell my bestfriend that 15 years with her could extend beyond eternity.
I would not be able to tell my UST friends that I miss them.
I would not be able to sing for the Lord again
I would not be able to show PETER HOW SPECIAL HE IS TO ME.

From this experience I Learned that we should always give our best in everything we do.
LIFE IS SO SHORT TO BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED.

figuring it out

If you don't go after what you want
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE IT

If you don't ask
THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS NO

If you don'r step forward
YOU'RE ALWAYS IN THE SAME PLACE

TAKE RISKS FOR LIFE GOES ON....

_________________________________________

Yeap this quotation is so true. There are so many questions running in my head and at the momenet I am standing in a cliff, deciding whether I'd jump off or just turn back. Although I am aware that not deciding at all is already a decision I don't know what hinders me. Maybe, I am just afraid. I guess everybody is entitled to that feeling. I don't know what lingers ahead of me. Well, that's a reality I can never escape..... ONLY TIME CAN TELL... ONLY TIME....


I'm just afraid to lose you pete


so afraid.....

SIGNAL FIRE

by: Snow Patrol

The perfect words never crossed my mind,
Cuz there was nothin' in there but you.
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
But the sound was trapped deep in me.
All I wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth,
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
Without your arms to drag me out.

[Chorus:]
There you are standing right in front of me
There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close, cuz I need you to guide me to safety.

No, I won't wait forever
No, I won't wait forever

In the confusion and the aftermath,
You are my signal fire.
The only resolution and the only joy,
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes.

[Chorus (x2)]

No, I won't wait forever
No, I won't wait forever
No, I won't wait forever

Agio

Pilit hinuhulma ang malambot na putik.
Di magkamayaw ang mga kamay,
Lubhang puno ito ng laman.

Nagpapawis,
Nanginginig,
Namimitig.

Ngunit kung sisilipin,
Makikita na nanunuot
Sa pagitan ng mga daliri
Ang umaalpas na hangin.



At ang tanging naiiwan
………..ay ang mga marka.

Buhawi

Niyayakap ng hangin ang alikabok
Pilit ikinukulong,
Kinakandili sa kanyang lupaypay na bisig.

Aalpas kaya ito?
At tuluyang babangga
Sa pader ng kawalan.

…………………o

Magpapahingalay
Sa kumakalinga

Umaalog nanaman ang buong bahay

Kwentong Gago

Sambakol ang mukha ng berdugo
Tuloy-tuloy ang paghagupit
Walang tigil ang pag-agos,
Naghalo na ang kahoy at laman
Dugo, alikabok at pawis
O kay bigat ng pasan ng gago
Bakit ba niya tangan
Ang troso mo?

hindi ako marunong magsulat

Dugo ang tintang naaninag
Sa papel na basa ng luha.
Dito ko nilalayong ilathala
Ang aking mga akda.

Walang akong pormal na kasanayan.
Mga likha ko’y bunga lamang
Ng mapaglarong isipan
At nag-aapoy na damdamin.

Salat ako sa karanasan
Bilang isang makata.
Mangmang kung ikukumpara
Sa lahat ng mananalaysay.

Ngunit,
ang akda ko ay akin.

Hindi natatangi ang aking pluma.
Subalit bawat sa marka nito,
Mababatid ang pangarap kong matuto;
At ang pagnanais na makilala ang sarili ko
sa likod ng mga kathang
bumubuo sa aking pagkatao.

wondering...

I’m really wondering how one person can stir my mind bigtime. Amidst my busy schedule, its so funny that I still get the opportunity to be enthused this way. Its seldom that I feel challenged and excited especially after that long healing process I had to go through a couple of months ago. And yes, I am again smiling! Is that good or bad? Hmmm, fair I guess. But I have to admit I’d like to stop wondering now. Two things could possibly happen if this continues: 1. I am going loose the composure that I recently acquired (I am really afraid of that, allowing myself to feel things) 2. getting hurt (I don’t want to go back to the dungeon again!).

Although, it doesn’t necessarily follow that I would fall for someone who makes me wonder, I think I should be cautious (better safe than sorry). I don’t even want to think what this person feels about me or how he sees me. Though I sensed that he is into someone else, it doesn’t really bother me. However, I am really fuzzing how he gives me this impression that I need to get to know him more. (duh!)

Call me a coward, but at this day and age, after all that I have been into, yeap, I am avoiding that feeling. I have never been this careful in my life. Still, I have to acknowledge the fact that I am but human, and whether I like it or not I will be free from control sometime soon. I will fall in love again. Yeah, maybe…. But maybe not now or maybe if a powerful shock can awaken me.

I am not closing my doors. I am just trying to balance things this time.

PAGKAMULAT

Paano nga ba nadungisan
ang malinis na batis
ng putik na mula sa mga paang
malayo pa ang nilakbay
matamo lamang
ang tinaguriang
rurok ng kaligayahan?

taglagas

walang tigil ang pamumulot
ng mga dahong
nagmamadaling humalik
sa mainit na lupa.

ilang tagtuyot na
.........ang nasaksihan.
kaunti na lang
.........sasapit na
ang pagsibol
na inaantabayanan

bukas.........
mamamangha muli
sa pagtubo
ng panibagong
bulaklak.

ngunit ang lahat.........
ng simula
.........hindi magaganap
kung wala
................................ang katapusan.

tumataas na ang bunton
nitong mga dahon
nagkukulay kape na
.........ang kalangitan


paalam na sa nakaraan

Ikaw ay Isang Tula

Di maarok ng kawalang-malay
Mga talinhagang nakakabit
Sa misteryosong pagkatao.
Bawat salitang binabanggit
Maaninag ang naiibang sining.
At lahat ng tinuturan,
Kumukurot sa puso
Lumilikha ng kislot sa isip.

Saklaw ng ritmo
Ang iyong mga galaw.
May imahen ang mga kilos,
Isang katotohanang
Hindi namumutawi sa bibig.

Kay tagal na sinuri,
Pinagbulayan,
Ang tema sa likod
Ng iyong mga ngiti.
Nakatitigalgal na malaman
Sa kabila ng mga metapora

---Natatago
ang iyong kalungkutan.

unexpected packages

Friendships develop thru interactions with others. It involves simultaneous acceptance and adaptation willingly given by two complementary/supplementary parties. Such premise has certainly fortified my existence. I have learned the value of life, love, trust and forgiveness with the aid of my comrades. I also understood that friends are different from acquaintances. They are the individuals whom are souls can go naked with. They come to us in unexpected packages. Some are nicely wrapped with silk ribbons and fancy papers, while others are placed in neat boxes. But no matter how they are parcelled, in the end what counts most is how we accept them especially when we become aware of their genuine contents.

In my 24 years of stay here one earth, I have met a few good souls whom I consider my allies. Once in my wayward life, it never came to me that we would be this close. As far as I can remember, we have all climb hilltops to be where we are now. Although I am not sure how long will this last, I am just grateful they came.

The Golden Compass

a movie review

The Golden Compass is one of the much awaited films in 2007. The trailer is definitely overwhelming especially if you are a fan of Nicole Kidman (Mrs. Cutler in the story) and Philip Pullman (the author of this famous book). Like many other, movie buffs, film critiques and book worms I have great expectations for the movie. I had so much hope that Chris Weitz (writer and director of the screenplay) would break history with his script and direction of the movie. Sadly, the screenplay didn’t even reach one third of my expectation. Weitz was not able to give justice to the work of Pullman. The film failed miserably to deliver any semblance of the author's story. The film was not able to deliver the most important points sighted in the book. Also, the abrupt shifts in the movie confused viewers regarding the message embedded in the screenplay.

If we separate the book from the entity of the screenplay, the movie will fail to stand on its own. Although, its cinematography is certainly commendable, the totality of its content is execrable. The story was truncated beyond the necessity involved in translating a book to film, the intricacies of the characters (especially Lyra) were swept over with a series of single scene expositions that do not readily allow viewers to explore the depth of each pesrona. Despite the talents of all the actors involved the direction of Weitz failed to show his audience the connection of one character to another.

All in all in a scale of 1 – 10, 1 being the lowest and ten being the highest, I’m giving the movie a rating of 2. A point goes to the cinematography and another point goes to Wietz for his efforts.

At the moment, it is one of the most disappointing films I have seen this year.